


you’re not what i asked for, in the end

by Anonymous



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Light D/s, Toxic Relationship, choni, light mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Neon pink hair and iridescent brown eyes that would take Cheryl’s world by storm and change her life forever.And so they became best friends. Or more accurately, Toni became the very oxygen that Cheryl relied on for survival. The very air that made her lungs ache with satisfaction, the very essence of her existence.”
Relationships: Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34
Collections: Anonymous





	you’re not what i asked for, in the end

Best friends. 

Those two words have adapted drastically different meanings for Cheryl over the years. 

In elementary school, it was a mere pipe dream - the figment of a fantasy she dared not dream. Recess was spent playing in the sandbox alone while Jason played with his friends and spared her an ironically cheerful wave every so often. In middle school, it meant ‘Heather’ for a little while, and then with a flick of her mother’s wrist, it was unattainable once more. Smiles, and sleepovers, and soft conversations in the safety of the moonlight, all disappeared so quickly that Cheryl could never be sure it was all real. 

And then high school brought her Toni. 

Not straight away, of course. Freshman and sophomore years were comprised of lunch eaten secretly and alone in empty classrooms or amongst a group of mindless minions in the cafeteria. But junior year gave her Toni. 

Neon pink hair and iridescent brown eyes that would take Cheryl’s world by storm and change her life forever. 

And so they became best friends. Or more accurately, Toni became the very oxygen that Cheryl relied on for survival. The very air that made her lungs ache with satisfaction, the very  _ essence  _ of her existence. 

Cheryl would not have been able to survive without Toni. 

Their friendship was a clandestine one, constrained by the unfounded classism of Cheryl’s parents and the bilateral hatred of their respective communities. Cheryl was certain the illicit rendezvous made the liaison even more exhilarating. 

It was definitely more than a friendship, and perhaps always had been, ever since two pairs of lonely brown eyes met one another in the halls of riverdale high. But from the beginning they swore not to let it be anymore than it was, not to overcomplicate, not to invest feelings and other needless complexities. 

So Cheryl did her best to ignore the uncomfortable atmosphere of Toni’s trailer, the unnatural cringes that would follow the echo of her uncle’s raised voice, the underlying simmer of unhappiness behind warm, russet eyes. And in return, Toni did her best to ignore the discolourations that marked alabaster skin, the scared flinches every time you moved too fast, and red, tear-stained eyes in the mornings after long nights of muffled sobs. 

They both became expertly good at ignoring one another’s emotions. Pretending that the kisses and the touching and the smiles and the  _ words _ … Pretending that it all meant nothing. 

Every word of adoration was dissimulated to be nothing more than a compliment, paid in due course. Nothing of emotion nor true depth was ever acknowledged nor considered. 

The first time Cheryl knelt for Toni, it was spurred by a flurry of overwhelming emotion and a deep, insatiable desire to be a requisite, for once in her life. She didn’t expect to feel any relief from it, didn’t expect to feel a weight lifted from her shoulders the moment she fell to her knees on the carpet in front of Toni with a low whine of desperation, arms marked with bruises of all kinds, extended with a raw, undeniable despondency. Suddenly, the feelings were a lot harder to ignore. 

It became a habit after that. perhaps even a routine. 

Clifford would hurt her, Cheryl would come running, to  _ submit _ , consumed by the urge to be good enough, to please someone, to reap the praise that was otherwise unattainable. Sometimes Toni would simply stand there, cradle Cheryl’s cheek lightly in the palm of her hand and mutter quiet words of comfort until the pain was soothed enough that she could drop to her knees and gather her poor, pretty girl into her arms. Other times it took a different turn and the early hours of the morning would see them tangled together in the sheets, worshipping one another’s bodies with a delicacy and care that had never been given to them by anyone aside from the other. 

It was healing and yet simultaneously so toxic and consuming for the both of them. 

Feelings were present, unavoidable, and yet avoided like the plague. Love hid behind gentle smiles and light touches and silent tears, but dared to pass the lips of neither. Their shared fear was a prison, keeping them together and yet so far apart. 

And so, Cheryl continued to find solace in Toni’s presence, the dominance she asserted under the cover of darkness, the  _ safety  _ she provided to a scared little girl running from her father’s anger. because really, that’s all either of them were doing. 

_ Running _ .

And it continued that way until it grew time for graduation. Until Cheryl’s urge for freedom began to lean heavy towards New York, and Toni’s roots began to tug harder to keep her in the town that raised her. It became a competition of who’s pull was the strongest, and whether their tie was strong enough to withstand the battle. 

It turned out, that it was not. 

The tangle of toxicity and pain relief through selfish abuse of one another’s bodies drew to a silent finish. They went out with barely a whisper, not the bang that one may think Cheryl Bombshell to be worthy of. 

And in a way, it was the saddest thing to ever happen to her. 

Because no less than three years after Cheryl Blossom learned the true meaning of ‘best friend’, she lost it once more. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you can guess who I am, then maybe I’ll write a part 2 :)


End file.
